2 Samuel 14 in plain modern English. New Ground English Translation.

Joab son of Zeruiah could tell that the king's heart was longing for Absalom.

So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and brought back a clever woman from there. He said to her, "Please, act like you're in mourning — put on mourning clothes, don't use any ointment, and behave like a woman who has been grieving over someone who died for a long time."

"Then go to the king and say these words to him." And Joab coached her on exactly what to say.

The woman from Tekoa went to the king, fell facedown on the ground in respect, and cried out, "Help me, your majesty!"

The king asked her, "What's wrong?" She said, "I'm a widow — my husband is dead."

"I had two sons, and the two of them got into a fight out in a field. There was no one around to break it up, and one of them struck the other and killed him."

"Now the whole family has turned against me. They're saying, 'Hand over the one who struck his brother so we can execute him for killing his brother — and wipe out the heir too.' They want to snuff out my last burning ember, leaving my husband with no name and no descendants on this earth."

The king said to the woman, "Go home. I'll issue an order on your behalf."

The woman from Tekoa said to the king, "My lord the king, let the blame fall on me and on my father's family. The king and his throne are innocent."

The king said, "If anyone gives you trouble about this, bring them to me, and they won't bother you again."

She said, "Please, let the king invoke Yahweh your God, so the blood avenger won't keep destroying, and so my son won't be wiped out." He said, "As Yahweh lives, not a single hair of your son's head will fall to the ground."

Then the woman said, "Please let me say one more thing to my lord the king." He said, "Go ahead."

The woman said, "Then why have you planned something just like this against God's people? By saying what the king just said, he's practically convicted himself — because the king won't bring back his own banished son."

"We all have to die — we're like water spilled on the ground that can't be gathered up again. But God doesn't just take life away. Instead, he works out ways so that the banished one doesn't have to stay banished forever."

"The reason I came to say this to my lord the king is that the people made me afraid. So I thought, 'Let me speak to the king — maybe the king will do what I'm asking.'

'Maybe the king will listen and rescue me from the man trying to cut me and my son off together from God's inheritance.'"

"I thought, 'The word of my lord the king will put me at ease,' because my lord the king is like a messenger of God in telling good from bad. May Yahweh your God be with you."

Then the king said to the woman, "Don't hide anything from me when I ask you something." The woman said, "Please, let my lord the king speak."

The king said, "Is Joab behind all of this?" The woman answered, "As you live, my lord the king, there's no getting around anything my lord the king says. Yes, it was your servant Joab who put me up to this — he's the one who put all these words in my mouth."

"Your servant Joab did this to reframe the situation. But my lord has wisdom like the wisdom of a messenger of God — he knows everything that happens in the land."

The king said to Joab, "All right, I'll do it. Go bring back the young man Absalom."

Joab fell facedown on the ground, bowed low, and thanked the king. Joab said, "Today I know that I've found favor with you, my lord the king, because the king has done what I asked."

So Joab set out, went to Geshur, and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem.

But the king said, "He can go to his own house, but he is not to see my face." So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the king's face.

Now in all of Israel there was no one as praised for his good looks as Absalom — from the sole of his foot to the top of his head there wasn't a single flaw on him.

When he shaved his head — he did it at the end of every year because his hair got so heavy it bothered him — he would weigh his hair, and it came to two hundred shekels by the royal standard.

Three sons were born to Absalom, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a beautiful woman.

Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two full years without seeing the king's face.

Absalom sent for Joab to send him to the king, but Joab refused to come to him. He sent a second time, and Joab still refused to come.

So Absalom said to his servants, "Look, Joab's field is right next to mine, and he has barley growing there. Go set it on fire." And Absalom's servants set the field on fire.

Then Joab came to Absalom at his house and demanded, "Why did your servants set my field on fire?"

Absalom said to Joab, "Look, I sent word to you saying, 'Come here — I want to send you to the king to say: Why did I even bother coming back from Geshur? I'd be better off if I were still there.' So now, let me see the king's face. And if I'm guilty of anything, let him execute me."

So Joab went to the king and told him. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came to the king and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.